Starting Over

Used to be the word Cancer was whispered, in small circles, by those few individuals and their families affected by the disease.  The “C” word did not extend to the depths we have seen it reach today.  So prevalent has this disease become, that it is impossible not to know someone who is being affected or who is themselves a patient (I just hate the word victim).  Whether it be a family member, friend or a stranger you met at the grocery store or even on a social networking site, cancer is a devastating disease that we must all learn to deal with and help each other through.

I myself, was diagnosed with breast cancer in December of 2007.  The last four years have been a roller coaster ride of emotions; fear, anger, sorrow, loss and even joy.  Many lessons have been learned and I have been forced to discard old knowledge; knowledge that, for better or worse, even defined my life.

As I start to gain tools to help me learn to live again, there is one common thread that has remained through this entire journey:  Friendship.

Some family and friends aren’t quite sure how to deal with the diagnosis, but they remain by your side through thick and thin. Some were old friends, friends that should have never been “lost," but somehow, through the grace of some higher power, were brought back to you, just in the nick of time.  Some are brand new friends; the girl who befriended you your first day in the chemo chair or the musician who “followed” you on Twitter with such encouraging and positive vibes you wonder how you ever made it through without them in your life before. Some were friends or loved ones of friends, whom you never had the honor to meet, but sent encouraging cards and the most beautiful, hand-made hats you have ever seen...and some seemed to disappear, the reality was just to harsh.

The pain of the disappearing friends, is devastating, but they still play a vital role in your treatment and recovery.  I have had to reevaluate my entire ideal of what support and friendship has meant and I believe It has made me a better person.

Through the last four years I have considered writing a blog to describe my journey.  The surgeries, eleven in the last four years, the weeks of radiation therapy, the months of chemo, including the ever dreadful hair loss, the trial and error of support groups...each and everyone an important and trying part of my treatment and recovery, but I was never quite ready to share things on that blog level.

Last night, as a new friend started to loose her hair due to chemo treatments, I decided it was time.  It’s not that I feel my life is so interesting that hundreds of people will want to read and share in my experiences, but the knowledge that if I can help just one person get through all that a cancer diagnosis brings, it will be worth it.

So, if you’re ready....here we go!!!