Getting A Little Preachy

Getting A LIttle Preachy

By Monica Best

I know, I know, it is drilled into our heads almost daily.  Do self breast examines, don’t miss your annual check-up and, if it has been deemed “time”, have a yearly mammogram.  YES, these are ALL very important steps to take, the small town (relative to places like NYC or LA) where I live even has billboards reminding women of the importance of getting a mammogram.  With stark slogans like “Not enough time killed my sister” or “Just fifteen minutes saved my life” , the imaging center here in Montana really drives home the importance of annual mammogram screening. 

While I do find these tips VERY important, I myself found my tumor during a routine self examine, they will mean nothing if women don’t start becoming their Own Best Advocates.  What?????????

Let me try to explain.  “No, there is too much.  Let me sum up”.  In December 2007, when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I was a pretty easy-going 37-year- old hypochondriac.  How, you may ask, can easy-going and hypochondriac be used in the same sentence.  Let’s put it this way, I was always convinced I had some kind of disease.  Hantavirus, monkey pox or bird flu, whichever one was in season, I just knew I must have contracted it (pretty silly for a girl who spends her life working with animals).  You see, in my mind, if I said I had the disease, then I wouldn’t actually get it....are you following me?  I spent a lot of time at my doctor’s office, what a saint that woman is, complaining of aches, coughs, colds; really any symptom that went along with the virus of the moment.  Sometimes, I actually had something wrong; a bout with mono, bronchitis or an eye infection.  Once, after spending months in the backcountry, living in a tiny, mouse infested cabin, I actually had to be tested for haunivirus.  After two anxious days (originally the technicians said the results would be back in ten days. When I told them I’d be dead in two if I did in fact have the Haunta, they put a rush on it...thanks guys!!) I was given the all clear.  The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve always been super hyper-vigilant about my health and body. 

Hyper-Vigilance:  A blessing and a curse.  Some doctors just assumed I was down right crazy and that everything I was feeling was in my head.  But other doctors stood by me and continue standing strong today.

It was certainly a blessing a year after my initial cancer diagnosis.  Upon my original diagnosis, a small, 2 cm tumor in the right breast, identified as invasive ductal carcinoma, I had a lumpectomy and six weeks of radiation therapy. I started my daily regiment of tamoxifen and everyone assumed that was the end of that story.  But, you know what happens when you assume, it’s makes an A** out of your oncologist, who suddenly stops paying attention to your concerns.  

A little over a year after the lumpectomy, I noticed a weird “growth” on my scar.  My oncologist was adamant that it was “just scar tissue”.  After three more visits to have her take a look at my “scar tissue”, I realized she was getting mad and no longer paying attention.  Why the hell is she so mad, I’m the one dealing with cancer.  So, I took matters into my own hands and made an appointment to see my surgeon.  At first I was concerned (did I mention that along with being a hypochondriac, I’m also a HUGE worrier).  What if my quest for a second opinion makes my oncologist even more angry.  I mean, this women literally has my life in her hands and there aren’t many doctors in town.

That’s when it hit me.......

Be MY own best advocate!!!!

So what if she got angry, it’s MY body and MY life.  I was no longer willing to just sit idly by, appeasing someone else, when I KNEW there was something wrong.

Turns out, it was cancer, reoccurring locally, on the surface of the skin.  

Please, don’t misunderstand me, I am not advocating a mistrust in your doctor.  I am simply trying to stress the importance of trusting your own instincts.  We know our own bodies better than anyone else and we also have no idea what is going on in other people’s lives.  Turns out, the oncologist I was seeing at that time was going through numerous personal problems that were affecting her ability to do her job correctly.  While we all want to believe that our doctors don’t let their personal lives get in the way of their work, they are only human.  I’m not justifying her course of action (things actually got a lot worse, but that is a story for another time) and I still hold a bit of anger about how she dealt with things.  But, I have learned that I can’t control her actions.  What I can control is how My treatment will be handled.  I now have a wonderful team of doctors, who I know believe and trust my feelings.  They stress the importance of second (and even third) opinions and never take my concerns for granted. 

Even after having a double mastectomy and five months of chemotherapy, my cancer has reoccurred locally three more times.  But, each time something shows up, we are on top of it immediately....even if we think it might “just be scar tissue”.

  

Best part of all, after dealing with cancer for four years, I don’t really worry about the haunivirus anymore!